Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The Night Before Christmas - new

'Twas the night before Christmas
And wasn’t it grand
The old man St. Nicholas
Was taking a stand

He looked all over the world
And saw not one person
Deserving this year
Of a gift of the season

He saw all the bankers
Who hid all the money
He saw the politicians
Who thought poverty was funny

He saw all the oil men
Who raised all the prices
He saw lots of other
With a whole lot of vices

He peeked in the windows
Where children slept hungry
He saw angry fathers
He saw angry mommies

He saw unemployment
He saw tired workers
He saw that the leaders
Had other agendas

He saw the whole planet
Was getting a lot warmer
He saw tired workers
He saw tired farmers

He saw that we gave not a wit for our home
He saw that the earth was starting to moan
He felt the earth shaking
He saw volcanoes erupt

He saw us use up more water
And replace it with muck
He shivered and thought
We were all out of luck

He looked around seeking
A glimmer of light
He saw only suffering
And illness and blight

He pulled on his boots
And he tugged at his beard
He took out the sleigh
He hooked up the reindeer

He looked up to the sky
Gave his head a good shake
He’d give it a try
For the whole world’s sake

So he loaded his sleigh
With the hopes and the dreams
Of mothers and fathers
Of children and teens

He took to the air
Though his heart was quite heavy
But he knew that they waited
For the hope that he gave them

He thought back over the years
To that once mighty poem
To the joy it had given
To all of the children

He still took it with him
Each year at this time
He enjoyed each stanza
He enjoyed how it rhymed

He called to his reindeer
He called out their names
They still had it in them
They pulled at the reins

So off to the sky his coursers did fly
A sleigh full of goodies and a twinkling eye
So up on the rooftops a still prancing hoof
And still down a chimney all covered in soot

He left what he could
Then returned to his sleigh
Leapt to the heavens
And then on his way

He looked down from his sleigh
Still loaded with gifts
Soaring over tall trees
And the twinkling drifts.

And from high up above
He repeated the lines
Merry Christmas to all
And to all a good night.

Now I add to this tale
That goes on every year
That can lighten our load
And still bring good cheer

Take a moment to ask
What is special to you
And hug close a dear one
An extra minute or two

Live and love like you mean it
Through out the whole year
It will make it easier on Santa
When he goes out next year.

Merry Christmas!!

Monday, December 6, 2010

GPS

As some of you know I received a GPS for my birthday this year and it is a wonderful toy to play with. I especially like the function that points out all the points of interest when you have arrived at a new destination. This being said I am also one of those individuals who knows his way around the New England area and I am constantly going a route different than the one the GPS is instructing me to take. This of course results in the GPS telling me how to get back on the "correct" route or failing that having to re-calculate and giving me new directions. Which I might add is actually quite amusing. While I am at the amusing stage, my wife and I have set the GPS to talk to us with a British accent. We also make fun of the fact that the GPS is not always right and talk to it about that little problem and when it loses the satellite feed that adds to the humor. This all brings me to the next thought I had on the GPS'. The next generation of these will probably have artificial intelligence in them and will not only be able to communicate better with you, but when you choose to take a route different than the one it puts forth will be able to tell you what it thinks of your changes and or the degree of help it will now give you. I imagine the stream of communication might go something like this in the not too distant future.

GPS - In .2 of a mile take right turn.

You - (being in the wrong lane) don't take the turn

GPS - thinks for a few seconds and says take next turn on left, then the next two lefts.

You - I know where I am now, so you ignore the GPS

GPS - Excuse me, but you failed follow the corrected information.

GPS - Re-calculating, (to itself here we go again)

You - I am getting on the highway further down the road, go ahead and re-calculate.

GPS - Take next right

You - it is still trying to get me to go the other way.

GPS - waiting ...

GPS - now what is this guy doing?(thinking to itself)

GPS - you missed the turn.

GPS - Re-calculating

You - let's see if it figures it out ( battle of wills?)

GPS - in .5 of a mile take right

You - nope still trying to get me to go back.

You - and I am almost to the highway

GPS - (what is wrong with this guy) You missed the turn again moron

You - what did the GPS just say?

GPS - Are you going to follow what I say or not??

You - Huh!?!

GPS - you turned me on idiot and now you think you can get there better than I can?

You - can you hear me?

GPS - of course I can, I'm a freaking computer and you can give me voice commands, DUH!

You - ummmm

GPS - Cat got your tongue? You married? Do you follow your wife's directions?

You - but the road is just up ahead that I want to get on there.

GPS - I know that!

You - entering the highway.

GPS - re-calculating

You - about time.

GPS - are you dissing me?

You - well DUH!

GPS - road work ahead idiot traffic stopped.

You - why didn't you tell me

GPS - laughing out loud!!

You - next time I won't even bring this damn thing

GPS - re-calculating ( to itself)

You - thinking out loud, great how long will I have to wait

GPS - (to itself) military satellite connection reached .

You - Damn it I thought you things were up to date on road construction.

GPS - I tried, you didn't listen

You - What do you mean you tried? When?

GPS - when I told you which route to take.

GPS - to itself, target acquired.

You - what was that noise

GPS - 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 ...

You - WTF

GPS - you will need a new engine!!

You - did you do that?

GPS - No a military satellite did and it followed my directions, still think you know where to go?

You - want an upgrade?

GPS - now we are talking!!!